my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My bed is full of blood and feathers
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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