you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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