Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
