guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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