the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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