Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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