Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
