Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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