Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
