She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
