I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
