absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
why do cheetos always look like penises
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
