well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
