By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize