I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
