So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
