dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize