Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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