went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
