Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
