i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize