She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
