I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize