based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
