Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize
