i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
