just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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