Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
