Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And then my night got REAL pukey
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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