I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
No stitches, just platelets and will power
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
