Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
