he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize