You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
