This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
