I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I have tasted many bathrooms
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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