Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize