Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You may now shotgun with the bride
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
