I hate all girls vehemently.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
