My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize