I'm really into asian looking animals
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
