Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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