You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
