i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
