So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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