I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Your shirt... Was in my pants
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
