Sry I called you an 8
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
