omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
