Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
