Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
You're a waste of cheezeits
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
