why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
