i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
