so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize