Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
