Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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