so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
