it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
