think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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