Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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