If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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