I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
