this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
These tits shall not be calmed
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
