So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
