"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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