Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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