Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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