we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
