Already got asked if we're dating
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
