It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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