I'm going to rape someone's good day.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
