It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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