I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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