i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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