"it" just moved
I think i peed on brittanys purse
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
