you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
