no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
