P.S. I can't hear my feet
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
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