Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
