He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
A bitchslap is in order.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
